As you arrive home and pick up the mail, you scan through the routine stack of bills and solicitations, and then stop. Buried in the middle is an envelope from the company you recently interviewed with. Your heart sinks, and your stomach gets queasy. You know what’s inside. Getting a “rejection” letter is one of the most difficult parts of the job seeking process. Beyond the letter itself, when you do not get the job you were hoping for, you want to know why you were not the candidate-ofchoice. “Was it a gap in my skills?” “Was it something I said or did (or didn’t do) in the interview?” “Was it something that had nothing to do with me?”

For many companies, if you are eliminated after a first or screening interview, they will simply move ahead with their process and not notify you at all. These are companies who generally treat candidates as commodities and not as human beings. Do they treat their employees the same way, perhaps? Some companies will send you a form letter. At least they gave you the benefit of communicating with you and letting you know your candidate status.

Having no communication or receiving a letter after a second or third interview may be even more troubling. Why? Because you have invested more of your time, energy and emotions into it. Perhaps you spent a significant amount of time researching, or travelling to get there. Or, you might have developed a positive rapport with the hiring manager and really felt optimistic about the situation. At this point you deserve the courtesy of a personal communication.

Here are reasonable expectations for companies to communicate that your candidacy is not being continued:

• Resume received and not a fit: a pre-scripted letter, post card or email.
• Phone screen: pre-scripted letter, post card, or email unless you were informed that if you do no get invited for further interviewing by a particular date, you may assume no further interest.
• First interview: Preferably a personalized letter or email, or at least a pre-scripted letter.
• Second or third interview: For the investment made into the process, a personal phone call is appropriate. Second best would be a personalized letter or email. Nothing less.

Unfortunately, many companies are moving so fast that they fail to effectively communicate at any point in the process unless they have continued interest. This is not good for the reputation of the company, as candidates resent being treated as commodities. Companies who function this way are not realizing that this is – and will continue to be – a candidate’s market.

In the meantime, it is up to you to not let the receipt of the unwanted letter to ruin your day, or worse yet – allow yourself to think that you are valueless. Remember too, that your reaction to the call or letter will be directly proportionate to the volume of possibilities you have cultivated for yourself. If this is your only current opportunity, it will have a much greater impact on you than if you had five or six possibilities in the works.

Here are some ways to cushion the blow and bounce back when you receive that disappointing call or letter:

• Think of it and refer to it as a “no thank you” letter rather than a “rejection” letter. We have very negative connotations about the word “rejection” and need to disassociate that from ourselves if possible.
• In your mind, thank the company for communicating with you, and for bringing the process closure. This frees you to put your energy in another direction.
• Remember that in most cases, your not getting the job is about you not being a good fit for their needs – it doesn’t mean that they didn’t like you.
• If you are in an active job search mode, have lost of possibilities working for you, do not wait to “see how this one turns out” before you pursue others. When you have several companies interested at once, it minimizes the blow to your ego, and can enhance your negotiating ability when several come to fruition at once.